The Waffle House Chronicles...

Friday, November 18, 2005

We have an office in Olney, Il. Think Rice Lake, but poorer and with more meth labs. The whole town is built around a Wal-Mart DC and the fact that they have white squirrels. They have truck pulls and people fish by swimming in a river, sticking their hand out with bait and then the catfish bite their arm and they pull them up. They all drink Bud (and Bud products) They used to have oil there so there are some oil derricks (some which are still running today.) Houses cost roughly $50000 (the nice ones!) Like Iowa with less corn. It's like Kentucky with less churches. Basically, it is a good place to drink beer with fun people and always a good time.

Anyways, one of my co-workers down there (John) is hilarious! He isn't at work today but here is his out of office e-mail:
I am sorry but I am not here to read your email.We had a bad storm wednesday night and a tree blew over and landed on our outhouse. That is OK though because we need the firewood (of course the outhouse was kinda handy also) I had to wait a couple of days to start the work process because there was a family of jack-a lopes- living in a hole under this ol tree and they needed time to relocate. I guess everything really does happen for a reason because my wife was telling me she saw a skunk pass by the outdoor house just the other day holding a paw up to it's nose and thought maybe the smell was getting a little out of hand....time not only for a new outyer door house but a fresh clean smelling hole underneath it too . So I am at home digging and hammering away trying to get this project done in time for the big family thank the giving holiday get together....I should be back Monday November the 21 two thousand and five If you are in dire need of assistance , feel free to contact (editied) at ext.2290 or (edited)

Here is his one from last time:
I am sorry but I am not here to read your email, I am home working on the house because my other says she is not going through another winter with no doors ( I thought the bedsheets worked real well) and a big hole in the wall where I accidently drove my truck into it when I was trying to find out what that clunking noise was .....turned out it was my breaks falling apart.
I will be out the entire week of October 24th. I will return Monday October 31st if I survive the haunted houses. If you are in dire need of assistance , feel free to contact (edited) at ext.2290 or (edited)



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