The Waffle House Chronicles...

Friday, June 01, 2007

Clean Sweep!

So yesterday we had a first on the bicycle. It was our weekly gun show ride (which was not a first) but the mopping up certainly was. The ride is starting to become local legend now as we've integrated this ride with employees from Saris and a few other random add-ons and yesterday's crew topped out around 20 people including Neil Swanson on a Mountain Bike (with a sweet new disc brake power tap.)

First things first, we are on our way to pick up the Saris guys (like a 1.5 mile ride.) When we ride through the ghetto we see a mini van peel away pissed at us. Huh. Well we get in front of Saris and the same mini van pulls up next to us. All of a sudden, out the window comes a freakin' Swiffer Mop. They swung it at someone and missed and then wound up again and went Prince Fielder on Balsley. Fortunately it was a light mop and it just glanced his helmet. Of course reactions differed. The old guys took down the license number while the Fitchburg crew (we don't really have a name and we certainly aren't a brigade) gave chase. Idiot went down a dead end. But I guess 1991 tan Chevy Astro vans are really bad ass as they started off-roading in it to get away. Somehow they got away which sucked. A call to 911 (I guess they went to Saris to ask about it) and we were back on our way.

Personally, I had my best Gun Show yet. I attacked an uphill mostly so I'd get enough gap that I wouldn't get dropped by the top, which worked. Then we were about 1/2 mile out and I was still there and I gave it my all in a sprint, just about 700 meters too early! But I did hit almost 38mph which I didn't know I was capable of. Another Schwinn guy wins though!

Second sprint and I basically get smoked. I suck at that one and just paced myself in. Of course if the ride wasn't sketchy enough, a co-worker who missed the start caught back up with the help of a motor scooter. Schwinn win again.

Third stage pissed me off. The scooter takes off with a couple Schwinn riders in tow. The pace is fast and furious but I am hanging in there. We hit M in three groups. Clearly the middle group is a bunch of idiots as I almost got to watch 5 people I know die. Yep, hard left right in front of a logging truck and some good brakes by the truck was a lucky break for the riders. And all of them were getting smoked by the guys on the scooter anyways. Stupid. So I quit. I was just too pissed at how stupid cyclists can be, no wonder we get jacked by dudes with Swiffers. After I quit, I wondered to myself if I just dropped off because I suck so I bridged back to the group I was with (needed to prove something to myself.) Then I thought that was stupid too so I dropped off again, put the heart rate at 120 and spun it in. Idiots. Schwinn won again (Jerry I believe this time.)

The good? All the people I like to ride with and consider my friends rode smart and weren't part of the fiascos. The bad? Lots of people are idiots. Some guy named Niles spent a good mile on the left of the yellow line while getting yelled at by our CEO. It wasn't just a quick force to the left as this blog states. Hopefully people and the ride get less stupid. Otherwise I am going to create my own ride and call it the "Un Show". Look out for tan mini vans! :)

Last night was a good time. After a stressful workday we had a kickball doubleheader. I think I went 1 for 7 in the two games, I definitely choked. We lost 2 and still haven’t won this season. After that we went to Tubbys (Texas Tubbs Taco Palace) and rocked some burritos with the Longs, Danielsons and some others. A great time!


  • I've thought about putting together an alternative Thursday afternoon ride, and I think there are a couple dudes from my ring that would be on board. It's not because I'm not fast enough (because, well, obviously...) - I just can't support a ride sponsored by the NRA. The alternative ride should be called either Flower Power or The Latte-sippers Yachting Club.

    By Blogger J.Bro, at 6/02/2007 4:54 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home